When you are a single parent, managing special events such as birthdays and Christmas can be fraught with emotion, especially when there is still another parent involved. One of the hardest things that parents have to do when they split up is working out how to juggle these special events and to do so amicably, despite their feelings towards each other. Nothing is more likely to ruin the occasion for a child than having parents battling over gets to see who and on what day.
How you arrange visitation (etc) on these days depends on a number of factors, for example if you both live near enough to share a day or whether taking it in turn year after year is a better idea (i.e. one has Xmas Day, one Boxing Day and switch the following year or similar) if not. If might work out due to the distance that one parent misses the special day entirely which is difficult for the child. Where this is the best arrangement possible thanks to logistics finding a way to bridge a gap with the missing parent is a great idea, be this with a phone call, Skype or FaceTime.
There are other events that pop up regularly throughout the year such as sports days or school plays which also require when possible both parents to attend. Despite any previous disagreements between you, it is important for the child/children that information about these dates are shared so that neither you nor your ex misses out. When you are both able to attend remember that the day is about the child, not bad feeling between you and your partner and so sitting together or sitting apart hopefully everyone will be able to enjoy sharing these special and precious moments.
Here at Dream Bear we understand how difficult these times can be, from dealing with ex-partners, their families, juggling dates and facing missing some of the special days yourself. We are on hand with virtual tea and a shoulder for those times when it becomes a bit much as we feel reading other parent’s accounts of such things can make you realise you aren’t alone and may provide inspiration for practical solutions.
As the grown up you might firmly believe that your partner’s mother hates you, however, your child or children are a different matter and have to make decisions about who they want in their life as they grow up themselves, not to please you or your ex-partner.
Here at Dream Bear we sympathise with how difficult swallowing your emotions when it comes to this particular topic can be however with our guidance and support alongside your determination to do what is best for your family you’ll get here. With time hopefully special events will be easier to manage.