Meeting new people isn’t easy as a single parent. First of all, you have to consider the fact that you rarely have time to go anywhere other than home, school, work or if you are lucky the supermarket. If finding love over a packet of frozen chicken wings in the freezer aisle is for you, brilliant however such chance encounters are few and far between (which is why so many single parents favour online dating).
The lack of time a single parent has free is partly why online dating is so popular. Having found someone you want to spend time with you can of course always rearrange things so that you may make time to enjoy their company, however, sitting in a bar or club three nights a week in the hope that Ms or Mr Right strolls by is both time consuming and often disheartening.
Online dating sites also take the guesswork out of the process. If your profile states you are a single dad, committed to his children and yet are looking for someone who enjoys family life as well as outdoor pursuits you are not going to get the look of horror over a beer when someone realises you have a child at home. Being honest and open is the very best way forward.
Safety is also something to consider, as while you have been honest you could be disappointed to find that blonde, sporty Debbie is actually brunette, 6ft, named Dave and is after the keys to the sporty car you posted on your profile. Online sites have their own guides for safety, both online and off, and for the most part it is common sense. Make sure you follow these rules!
Now you just need to read the reviews and find a suitable site, set up your profile and see how you get on!
*We’d love to hear first-hand experiences, funny, serious and romantic from dads who are or have navigated the online dating scene. If this is you, get in touch!
When you’ve been out of the game for a while meeting new people can seem more difficult than it sounds. When your current social circle seems limited to those you see at the market on a Saturday morning, on the school run, at the local soft play and if you are lucky the swimming pool while your children have lessons it may seem impossible to meet potential romantic connections!
In actual fact, there are a number of different ways you can meet new people, both online and off. Firstly there is online dating (see more about that here) which certainly has its advantages, although you have to be open minded about what you are looking for and think about safety issues when arranging to meet. Then there’s the untapped potential your friends and family provide, namely blind dates. We know it sounds brutal but unless your sibling still hates you for some teenage wrong they might know some suitable people to introduce you to. The same applies to colleagues and your own friends.
If you are serious about meeting new people you really need to get out there. We don’t suggest you hang out at your local bar whenever you can wearing your lucky pants (although if that’s what you want, go for it); more that you work on creating situations which are more likely to help you find someone you have something in common with. Instead of spending your little bit of free time wearing striped PJs and watching sad TV re-runs get a hobby or join a class! What better way to meet someone with the same interests as you?
Making the decision and getting the courage together to jump back into the dating pool is the hardest part. Actually meeting people is easier, especially if you look in the right places and get your keen supporters to help you out.
*Top tip: Don’t agree to a blind date that anyone you owe money to, you stole a girlfriend from in high school or is known for being a practical joker sets up. It just isn’t smart!
Talking to the Kids about Dating
To be fair the last thing that any child wants to hear about is their dad’s love life however it really is a subject that should be discussed with them as at some point you may well (hopefully) be introducing someone new to them. There are several factors to consider when thinking about talking to your kids about you dating though.
Firstly thinking about when it’s the right time. If you have only very recently split up from the other parent for example (despite the fact you may have been separated for some time before telling the children) it may seem very soon to be dating. It is also important to consider how they took your break-up, whether they have recently been subjected to other changes in their life or any upsets. You seeing new people is going to happen and that decision can’t be controlled by your children as such, however choosing the right time to talk about dating is key as obviously their feelings matter too.
Once you’ve decided the time is as right as it can be you need to decide what you are going to say. How you approach the subject of you dating depends on the age of the children and your individual situation. What is important though, however you word wanting to meet new friends, that the children feel reassured that they come first always, that they are no less important and that you love them. Jealousy is not uncommon when it comes to daddy dating again however provided that you are consistent in what you’ve said about meeting new people and how much the children mean, as well as showing this hopefully the jealousy will pass fairly quickly.
Here at Dream Bear we’ve been in the situation of telling children we are dating again. Some have had to wade through short term jealousy and resulting bad behaviour to gain attention, others have been shocked by how easy the conversation was and how critical our children can be on what we’ve chosen to wear on a date! Whichever way it goes, the Dream Bear team understand!